As we come to the end of January, I can’t help but reflect on the upcoming anniversary that I don’t think I could ever have anticipated until it happened. 4 years ago, this February 21, God healed me in a powerful and miraculous way. It was unexpected, unanticipated and wholly life changing.
You see, I have celiac disease that went undiagnosed until I was 20, which had by then wreaked havoc on my system. Within a year of diagnosis I was diagnosed with co-morbid conditions and complications that at the time were deemed permanent. The decade of life proclaimed as the greatest time for self discovery and exploration was instead forecast to be marked with severe illness, that was incurable. I was found to have fibromyalgia and inflammatory arthritis in every single joint in my body. I have a lesion in my cerebellum that my neurologist says is caused by celiac disease and I was having migraines 25+ days of the month, among other issues. It was a pretty terrible time, though God’s grace was abundant as he led me to conversion to the Catholic church.
For years I did everything I could to read the latest research, which my doctor was fully supportive of as she herself promoted patient self-advocacy. I learned to balance pushing forward in exercise with avoiding excessive flare ups that would last for months. Back then gluten free options tasted, as a friend once brilliantly said, “like rice and sadness”, but I was making the most of the situation. I offered my pain in union with Christ’s cross, and truthfully never thought to ask for my own healing. I was too focused on learning natural remedies that actually helped when the medications caused strange and often disorienting side effects.
When you least expect it…
Then, it happened when I least expected it. I went to the Tuesday night adoration evening at our local parish, and sitting in front of the monstrance I was captivated. It is not possible to put it into words that would accurately describe the experience, but it was as though the monstrance was simultaneously standing on the altar but super imposed with the infant Jesus in the manger and the adult Jesus on the cross. I was transfixed on this scene when I heard in my soul the very clear message that God was answering my husband’s prayers and was healing the permanent conditions right then and there. I understood that anything left over would be curable over time, with some effort.
You see, even though I hadn’t been praying for my own healing, my husband had been praying a raw and honest prayer for 7 years. He had been agnostic when we met, though he couldn’t deny the impact my relationship with God had, so he prayed “God, if you are real, heal her”. I had gone into the church with labored breath, ungraceful movements constricted by arthritic joints, and left painless walking with ease. My close friend saw the difference immediately when we got up to leave at the end of the holy hour, and asked what happened. I shared it, delighted.
The healing journey continues…
I still struggle with celiac disease, though the reactions are no where near as bad or long lasting, and a few conditions that are treatable (like the most recent discovery of sleep apnea and nocturnal hypoxemia), but since that day I have been changed and capable of so much more than I imagined. Sometimes God heals us when we least expect it. Never lose hope, never give up faith, God knows what we need and when we need it. Sometimes it takes time. In my case, 7 years of my husband petitioning God on my behalf, without my knowing… but God will act, right when the time is ripe.
