Category: Goal Setting

Posted in Goal Setting, Reflections, Sam's adventures

Stops and Starts

Posted on by Snowrose

Sometimes I think that life is just a series of stops and starts. I’ve had such a strange relationship with education, and it continues! My next chapter begins with reapplying to my Master’s of Science in Psychology program, which I am happy to say is DONE. It feels like it has been ages because I started my master’s in the summer of 2022. I finished 3 courses and the first part of my thesis during my first year at Divine Mercy University. The program is excellent, and I love the asynchronous learning environment. It was sad when I had to take a leave of absence, but it was the right decision at the time. I am thankful that things have settled enough to get back on that pony now! My entire academic journey has been a series of stops and starts.

Stops and Starts

A time to go and stop

The reason I stopped my studies was a combination of factors. I suffered a miscarriage (we’ve had multiple; I plan to write about that sometime), and my husband’s career change process was going… well… awful. It was not the time to keep on going. I approached the change like a bookmark, not an ending, and did the hardest work of all: waiting. It took me 12 years to finish my undergrad, and I was used to that hard work of waiting and persevering, but this… felt different. When I went to university, it was because it was what I thought I ought to do. I graduated on the honor roll and earned the International Baccalaureate Bilingual Diploma in high school, so it would be a waste not to, right?

I chose linguistics because it seemed cool, and it turned out to be dramatically useful in improving my writing skills. Instead of struggling with writing due to dyslexia, I learned the English language from the inside out and could break down sentence structure to its constituent parts. I thought I would minor in music, and I went in hoping for the best. I was sorely disappointed to learn that the only music classes I could take were theory that I had already learned in high school (I took IB music). Religious studies caught my eye, and I started learning about world religions. I decided on a Double Major, like the keener I was… but then… I had to stop.

Learning what mattered

This was when my health, which had consistently been deteriorating due to undiagnosed celiac disease and a decade of black mold exposure, led me to slow down and, in many ways, stop. I graduated with a 3-year degree in four years… and stopped and started over and over again for the next 8 years to finish that elusive double major. It remains an unmet goal because by the time I had been ready to finish the last 2 courses for a major in linguistics, it had been too long to dive headlong and take 4th-year classes.

With a heavy heart, I stopped my double major and started a major in Religious Studies and a minor in Linguistics. I was so close, but it wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life, so it wasn’t worth the difficulty to catch back up and finish those classes. I learned that it didn’t matter if I did the greatest or best program, it was ok to do MY best.

A time to go and START!

Unlike my undergraduate studies, I have a purpose and direction in taking this Master’s in Psychology. When I stopped, I took the Chartered Herbalist Diploma that I had originally planned to take AFTER! So it wasn’t even a full stop for the direction I feel called to travel. Instead, the stops and starts have been purposeful and decisive. When it is time, it is time! It has been a long 3-year wait, but I am ready and itching to get back to it. I’m excited for this next chapter!

Posted in Coaching, Goal Setting, Health, Mental Health, Reflections, Sam's adventures

Passion: Finding and Pursuing it

Posted on by Snowrose

I’ve been listening to the audiobook “Prudence” by Fr. Gregory Pine OP recently. This, combined with life circumstances for myself and friends, has led me to think. I’ve been reflecting on the importance of pursuing your passion. While I believe there is an inherent need to work for the sake of supporting yourself or your family, I think it is wrong to settle. I don’t mean to be critical here, but I want to encourage true flourishing. In my opinion, it is a disservice to yourself and others to stagnate when you could be living a more genuine and fruitful life.

Why find your passion?

This is an important question to address. There is a trend these days to wanting to “live your best life”, but social media does not give a foothold on what this really means. In my opinion, living your best life is one where you live a life full of meaning (and the psychological sciences tend to back me on this). If you are living life, looking to the future for some place of happiness and contentment, you are missing the point. Life exists here and now in the present moment. When you are living out your passion, meaning is vibrant and service is life-giving. You may have hard days, but they don’t wear you down, leaving you empty.

What is your passion?

Some people have a clear idea of their passion, but not everyone does. Your vocational needs and state in life impact how you can live out your passion, but neither prevents you from finding it nor pursuing it when the time is right. There are many ways you can choose to live life and serve through work. Sometimes you will need to work for the sake of work, and finding your passion will come from reflecting on those experiences. In short, I believe your passion is the intersection of your interests and talents. In practice, this is actually a pretty broad space that will need discernment and reflection to narrow down.

A Venn Diagram of the intersection of Interest and Tallent showing Passion.

There are resources you can use to help you identify where you will flourish most, like the amazing work of Patrick Lencioni: 6 Types of Working Genius. I think this is an excellent tool to help you discover your passion and how to live it out most fruitfully. In general, though, if you take time to explore and really think about your interests and talents, you should find an area of overlap. The options of work that crop up from that overlap are where you are most likely to find something truly life-giving and meaningful.

A personal example:

After years of tumult accompanying my husband’s journey through mental illness and a career change, I found my passion, and he has found his. I personally realized that I am most interested in psychology, helping others, theology, and the arts. These have intersected with my talent for teaching, synthesizing information, art, and supporting others in this beautiful, budding business. I absolutely love this work and find it refilling.

My husband, after working in crime prevention, hoped to one day be a police officer, and looked at what he had enjoyed most in his jobs when he realized that was not a realistic option. He chose driving and went into the trucking industry. I can say long-distance trucking is NOT a family-oriented career, but he has finally found a position that he LOVES that suits our family’s needs. From wanting to clean up the streets of crime, he has discovered that his interests and talents overlap beautifully, keeping the streets clean… of garbage. He comes home satisfied even after a hard and messy day.

Want help finding yours?

If you aren’t sure where to start, come and see! As a coach, I can help you live out your best life and move towards flourishing and wellness.

Find out more!
Posted in Goal Setting, Reflections, Sam's adventures

Juggling Change

Posted on by Snowrose

This September, I have not been able to blog weekly like I had set as a goal. Changes in my son’s schedule and my husband’s work schedule have left me juggling change. As I mentioned in my last post on transitions, I find it pretty hard to navigate changes all at once. Juggling is my favorite metaphor for balancing the duties that come with being a wife, mother, and entrepreneur.

Juggling Change but Holding Routine

I think the successes this month have been worth the efforts to hold onto routine amid the change. Rather than blogging, I focused on a few other things this month so far. First, I published my gratitude journal, “Grow Your Happiness.” I have been delighted at the interest from an online Catholic community I am in. Then, I released some new, simple fabric designs to complement the Mini Saints and Sacraments collection on Spoonflower. I have also been working on creating French Prayer Cards to add to my free resources (the English ones were already there).

Meanwhile, on the mom front, I am getting back into the swing of my son’s various activities, homeschool routine, and adjusting the daily routines. I think one of my favorite parts of kids growing up is the enthusiasm they have for learning how to do certain chores. Obviously, my son is not interested in everything, but he has taken up learning how to vacuum with much gusto and excitement. Until this point, he was not quite old enough to use the vacuum. With the coming of the new school year and shuffling of household duties, he excitedly asked to try!

How is your household finding the September shift?

Posted in Coaching, Goal Setting, Health, Mental Health, Sam's adventures, Stress Management

Exciting update: Grow Your Happiness

Posted on by Snowrose

Publishing soon!

Over the past two years, I have been steadily working on a book titled “Grow Your Happiness.” In this book, I offer a method of increasing your baseline happiness through intentional gratitude. The front matter explores the scientific literature on dispositional happiness (the day-to-day baseline happy feeling you return to after ups and downs) and how gratitude can increase that.

The book is almost ready for publication and will be published in September!

In “Grow Your Happiness”, I have made the scientific information accessible and easy to read, despite citing over 20 studies and primary sources. You will learn the real impacts of this virtue on the happiness you experience. Next, after exploring how gratitude can make you a happier person, you will find 365 prompts. These prompts were intentionally chosen to increase the breadth and depth of this important virtue steadily over time.

A sneak peek inside:

I’ve given the book a sunflower theme, with earth tone colours. There will be a Kindle edition in plain text for anyone who wants to use their preferred journal. I chose the sunflower theme to symbolize the journey of growing happiness. Sunflowers are beautiful plants whose blossoms always look towards the sun. After all, they need direct sunlight and grow into huge flowers that brighten up any space they are planted in. Accordingly, I hope that everyone who uses this journal can also look at the proverbial sun of gratitude and blossom into happier people!

Here is an example of the journal theme:

I hope that this book will reach many people. I believe it will make a dramatic impact if used intentionally. Gratitude is such an important virtue! Although this book focuses on increasing dispositional happiness, the research shows much more. There is research coming out showing that gratitude can positively impact your relationships, health, and more!

Posted in ADHD, Goal Setting, Mental Health

Habitica: Happy little dings for doing all the things..

Posted on by Snowrose

Over the last few months, I have been using a productivity app that has been surprisingly impactful in my day-to-day functioning as a mom with ADHD. My husband had been trying to find ways to compensate for his memory issues that don’t involve asking me to remind him, and with the help of ChatGPT, found a list of different apps that are supposedly meant to help with ADHD, memory, and productivity. Now, when I say memory issues, I mean that he has the textbook case where if he is not hyper-focusing on whatever it is, it goes in one ear and out the other (completely unintentional, too). This is lifelong ADHD struggle territory, and I’ll be honest, not much has worked over the years except me carrying the mental load, which, let’s be real, isn’t sustainable.

Habitica App!

In comes: Habitica. Originally, I downloaded the app to support him because he figured gamifying his life would probably be fun (we are both gamers after all). Did it help? Oh, man, did it ever. He has been successfully using it for several months, and I RARELY have to remind him of things. In general, if something hadn’t been done on his dailies, he chose not to do it because he wasn’t feeling well. Now here’s the kicker: I’ve been the one using the app MORE than him!

My normal way of coping with my lack of executive function is to hold onto the thought of all the things that need to get done in a mind palace like Sherlock Holmes’. It takes a tremendous amount of effort, and mixing that with compassion fatigue and masking led to me becoming burned out last year. While I have been learning to not mask 24/7 (IFS and parts work with the RCC has been a game changer), allow myself to stim when I need to regulate, and become more compassionate with myself, at the same time my husband demonstrated huge improvements in his mental health, I never really found a way around carrying the big mental load.

Reducing the mental load

In using Habitica, I have unloaded the giant mental load of all the things I plan to do and all the steps to take. I have a GINORMOUS to-do list, with steps broken down neatly. The length of the to-do list is a relief because I am no longer going over it in my mind on repeat to make sure I follow through (lest it be lost in the void).

Habitica is also programmed such that the longer something is on the to-do list, the more difficult it is to finish, and it adjusts the rewards accordingly. This has been massively validating, as many of the projects on my to-do list are longer-term (such as uploading designs to Spoonflower or Redbubble, making resources, or finishing the books that are in progress). I have habits set for tracking virtue and various ways I want to grow as a person. I’ve even learned how to set up my monthly virtue challenges to be hosted on there, too! You can join for June, where we practice growing in trust HERE.

… and finally… the most delightful little dings for doing daily things. I don’t know about you all, but I find with my particular flavor of neuro-spicy deficiencies, I get ABSOLUTELY NO dopamine from completing a task. Does that prevent me from getting stuff done? Well, no. I do it anyway because I learned long ago that action begets motivation and… I’m as stubborn as a bull.

An impressive impact…

Although I found taking medication a few years ago helped with sensory processing disorder, and getting that little “oh look! I did a thing!” dopamine release, it hasn’t been sustainable to stay on them for several reasons. In general, I usually hate bell noises of any kind, but this app has a ding that is lovely to me. I put together my list of dailies, and with the party I’ve formed with my husband and a few friends, I get to share the fun I’ve found in this relief of my mental load. We hold each other accountable through the quest feature, and it has brought a lot of good! I wouldn’t say this app will help everyone, but if you think it may help, I highly recommend you give it a try!

Posted in ADHD, Coaching, Goal Setting, Sam's adventures

Captured busy!

Posted on by Snowrose

My goodness! My well-intentioned goal of writing and contributing to this blog weekly has most certainly fallen through! This is a great place for my own self-reflection on the past season and look ahead to how I can do things differently next time.

First things first: why am I sharing my own pitfalls with you, dear reader? Well, to show that even if you look put-together, life is a process of learning and growing… for EVERYONE! I think what caught me off guard with this particular goal was a divide in my focus. In establishing this business, I’ve been working at the turtle’s pace, bit by bit. It started as homework for my Master’s degree in my “flourishing and development plan”, as a simple portfolio of my art, and has slowly blossomed into something bigger– and a little more immediate than my eventual goal of becoming a fully licensed psychologist. In the last few months though, I’ve had a lot of clarity for the direction I want to take this up-and-coming business to really hit the ground running. That’s where I stumbled: too many ideas at once.

Maintaining Balance

It’s always tricky with ADHD to see where the balance in that divided attention can be maintained. I’ve personally found my many interests and ability to hyper-focus to outweigh the impact of diminished executive function, especially when I take the steps needed for the support I require. In this case, I definitely bit off more than I could chew. So what now? Well, I’ll use a very helpful tool that DMU (Divine Mercy University) introduced me to in that same “flourishing and development plan” homework. WOOP!

No, no, I don’t mean to just exclaim exuberantly, though really it is a sound I make when I’m excited. WOOP is a really helpful system designed to take goal setting to the next level. It stands for:

So let’s WOOP my goal together:

Your WOOP Summary
Your Wish: Have an active blog
Your best Outcome: I’d write posts at least once a week
Your inner Obstacle: Getting distracted by other priorities
Your Plan: If “Getting distracted by other priorities” then I will “Choose a day to write and that be the business task”

Want to WOOP your goals too? Here is the practice space!

Posted in Coaching, Goal Setting

What is life coaching?

Posted on by Snowrose

Unlike sports, where a coach directs the team to encourage growth and hopefully skill within the rules of a game, life comes without such clear cut direction. A life coach is someone who is given the opportunity to ask questions that facilitate growth while maintaining accountability in the direction that is right for you!

Do you feel satisfied in your life? Are you driven to accomplish your goals? Do you have motivation to fulfill your inner calling? If you answered no to any of these, a life coach can be of great assistance! Working together, we can sweep away the confusion of the demands of modern life and open a path to fulfilling your goals and achieving your dreams.

In a one-on-one context, a life coach can work with you to uncover what is stirring in your heart as a priority for this season of life, and give that fine tuned attention. In a group, you benefit from witnessing breakthroughs in each other and additional accountability towards the goals you have set for yourself. No matter your age and stage, a life coach can help you flourish and grow!

Have any questions? Want to work with me? Contact me! I’d love to hear from you. 😀

Let’s art the journey together!

Posted in ADHD, Goal Setting, Mental Health, Sam's adventures

What am I all about?

Posted on by Snowrose

If there is one thing that I am passionate about, it is helping an individual heal, grow and flourish. I can’t say that I have been on this road for very long, but the more I travel it, the more I realize, “yep, this is for me”. Over the last 4 years, I have had the privilege of accompanying my husband on his healing journey battling mental illness. Let’s be clear, I am no spring chicken, I’ve had my fair share having gone through major depression caused by chronic illness in my mid-twenties, and Post-Partum depression after my son was born… but there is something different walking with someone else. Was it easy? No. Was it fun? Eh, not really. Was it worth it to get to the other side and really experience them beginning to flourish and grow? You bet.

My husband and I both came into our marriage knowing we had no idea what the heck we were doing. We grew up in broken families, with divorced and remarried parents, stability wasn’t really our forte. I can’t say we did it right, but I can say we tried our best in the first years. After miscarrying twice, we had our son, our little rainbow baby. That’s when my husband’s mental health took a turn for the worse. You see, he had been working shift work for more than a decade by that point, had undiagnosed sleep apnea and the physical implications of that were really starting to hit the fan. Add in a little munchkin bundle of joy? Well, I learned that you start reliving your experiences of childhood… and either embrace them and grow or repress them and get pretty stuck in who you are. For my husband, mixing those with a toxic work environment, some added family struggles helping extended relatives, a little COVID Isolation, and well, it was enough to reach the breaking point.

It was this journey of accompanying him that set me on the path I am on now, determined to be there and accompany those who are ready to take the next active step in their lives. It took us 4 years, many hurdles and hardships, a lot of grit and even more grace, to get here, and I will never look back. Now that he has been symptom-free for almost a year, we are building a healthy home based on accountability, forgiveness, gratitude and trust; we are learning as we go and overcoming obstacles along the way. I am homeschooling our son, studying to reach my goals, and building my business.

I have to say that starting a business based on art, healing, growing and flourishing, is also not easy, but, it is oh so worth the efforts. I am loving coaching, and making art. It may be a small start, but it is the right direction and I look forward to meeting all the beautiful people who will come and join me on this path.