Publié dans Goal Setting, Reflections, Sam's adventures

Stops and Starts

Sometimes I think that life is just a series of stops and starts. I’ve had such a strange relationship with education, and it continues! My next chapter begins with reapplying to my Master’s of Science in Psychology program, which I am happy to say is DONE. It feels like it has been ages because I started my master’s in the summer of 2022. I finished 3 courses and the first part of my thesis during my first year at Divine Mercy University. The program is excellent, and I love the asynchronous learning environment. It was sad when I had to take a leave of absence, but it was the right decision at the time. I am thankful that things have settled enough to get back on that pony now! My entire academic journey has been a series of stops and starts.

Stops and Starts

A time to go and stop

The reason I stopped my studies was a combination of factors. I suffered a miscarriage (we’ve had multiple; I plan to write about that sometime), and my husband’s career change process was going… well… awful. It was not the time to keep on going. I approached the change like a bookmark, not an ending, and did the hardest work of all: waiting. It took me 12 years to finish my undergrad, and I was used to that hard work of waiting and persevering, but this… felt different. When I went to university, it was because it was what I thought I ought to do. I graduated on the honor roll and earned the International Baccalaureate Bilingual Diploma in high school, so it would be a waste not to, right?

I chose linguistics because it seemed cool, and it turned out to be dramatically useful in improving my writing skills. Instead of struggling with writing due to dyslexia, I learned the English language from the inside out and could break down sentence structure to its constituent parts. I thought I would minor in music, and I went in hoping for the best. I was sorely disappointed to learn that the only music classes I could take were theory that I had already learned in high school (I took IB music). Religious studies caught my eye, and I started learning about world religions. I decided on a Double Major, like the keener I was… but then… I had to stop.

Learning what mattered

This was when my health, which had consistently been deteriorating due to undiagnosed celiac disease and a decade of black mold exposure, led me to slow down and, in many ways, stop. I graduated with a 3-year degree in four years… and stopped and started over and over again for the next 8 years to finish that elusive double major. It remains an unmet goal because by the time I had been ready to finish the last 2 courses for a major in linguistics, it had been too long to dive headlong and take 4th-year classes.

With a heavy heart, I stopped my double major and started a major in Religious Studies and a minor in Linguistics. I was so close, but it wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life, so it wasn’t worth the difficulty to catch back up and finish those classes. I learned that it didn’t matter if I did the greatest or best program, it was ok to do MY best.

A time to go and START!

Unlike my undergraduate studies, I have a purpose and direction in taking this Master’s in Psychology. When I stopped, I took the Chartered Herbalist Diploma that I had originally planned to take AFTER! So it wasn’t even a full stop for the direction I feel called to travel. Instead, the stops and starts have been purposeful and decisive. When it is time, it is time! It has been a long 3-year wait, but I am ready and itching to get back to it. I’m excited for this next chapter!

Publié dans ADHD, Goal Setting, Mental Health, Sam's adventures

What am I all about?

If there is one thing that I am passionate about, it is helping an individual heal, grow and flourish. I can’t say that I have been on this road for very long, but the more I travel it, the more I realize, “yep, this is for me”. Over the last 4 years, I have had the privilege of accompanying my husband on his healing journey battling mental illness. Let’s be clear, I am no spring chicken, I’ve had my fair share having gone through major depression caused by chronic illness in my mid-twenties, and Post-Partum depression after my son was born… but there is something different walking with someone else. Was it easy? No. Was it fun? Eh, not really. Was it worth it to get to the other side and really experience them beginning to flourish and grow? You bet.

My husband and I both came into our marriage knowing we had no idea what the heck we were doing. We grew up in broken families, with divorced and remarried parents, stability wasn’t really our forte. I can’t say we did it right, but I can say we tried our best in the first years. After miscarrying twice, we had our son, our little rainbow baby. That’s when my husband’s mental health took a turn for the worse. You see, he had been working shift work for more than a decade by that point, had undiagnosed sleep apnea and the physical implications of that were really starting to hit the fan. Add in a little munchkin bundle of joy? Well, I learned that you start reliving your experiences of childhood… and either embrace them and grow or repress them and get pretty stuck in who you are. For my husband, mixing those with a toxic work environment, some added family struggles helping extended relatives, a little COVID Isolation, and well, it was enough to reach the breaking point.

It was this journey of accompanying him that set me on the path I am on now, determined to be there and accompany those who are ready to take the next active step in their lives. It took us 4 years, many hurdles and hardships, a lot of grit and even more grace, to get here, and I will never look back. Now that he has been symptom-free for almost a year, we are building a healthy home based on accountability, forgiveness, gratitude and trust; we are learning as we go and overcoming obstacles along the way. I am homeschooling our son, studying to reach my goals, and building my business.

I have to say that starting a business based on art, healing, growing and flourishing, is also not easy, but, it is oh so worth the efforts. I am loving coaching, and making art. It may be a small start, but it is the right direction and I look forward to meeting all the beautiful people who will come and join me on this path.